A Conversation with Inner Child on Sadness and meeting Divine.
Sometimes I am sad for no apparent reason. And my mind tries to help me to understand this sadness. Mind has limited knowledge. It scoops up information from the past and presents in front of me – “This incident no. 4067 is the reason you are sad” or may be “This incident no.6078 is the reason you are sad”. It tries to solve the puzzle of sadness this way. By projecting those incidents on my sadness.
But unfortunately mind will fail at its attempts to help me. It doesn’t know what the soul wants. So, unless I get in touch with my inner voice, I can not find the solution to the real reason of my sadness.
So this morning I sat down with my self and started talking to my inner child, my inner being, call it Atma or Soul or just inner self. And I felt like someone is counselling this inner child, who was so sad, through me.
“Dear Child, you are unhappy because you feel you need to do something to reach God. No Child, you do not have to do anything. Divine is always so close to you. You know how Divine communicates to you, connects to you? When you open your heart – accept, allow and surrender – to Divine. Then Divine connects with you easily. Right at your home. Why do you keep wanting to run away from home to Himalayas to find Divine. Isn’t this laptop, the table, chair, the air in the room, these curtains part of Divine? They all represent Divine’s will to express in a certain way. All of your room and its parts are Divine.”
Inner child retorts : “But, why is it that I can not see Divine in these things? Why only nature feels home and divine-like?”
“Dear Child, you cannot see the Divine in these things because you see through the lens of differentiation and Judgement. You see Right and Wrong. You see good and bad. You feel that Divine is somewhere at the top of the emotional chart at ‘Freedom’, ‘Peace’ and ‘Love’. How can you think this way. There is only one source, so all things that exist are part of source. You see through this lens – “what feels good – must be god”. No! Who is feeling this? The body? The mind? Or the soul? What feels good to body and mind, how can only that be God? The soul is never going to judge anything. The soul lives with God and sees everything as is. Soul has no judgement for things you call good and things you call bad.”
Inner child understands but is confused, “Why then are we chasing after this feeling of love? We feel God is Love.”
“Dear Child, everything is love. You have called hate as not love. But hate is also a form of love. ‘I hate that person because he hurt me” – it means you loved that person and had expectations from that person to behave in certain way. Isn’t it? You started with love but your love got corrupted with judgement and expectations. Your love is actually not love. It is a transaction -“I will give you love, if you give me what I want”.
But even this transaction is based on love. You want love in whatever way you can. And when you do not get it, you call it hate or sadness or anger. These are all love. What is not Love? All emotions stem from Love.
Once you see this, you can not differentiate between emotions. Even if you are sad, you will feel, “I am unable to feel divine’s love”. That’s all. You will not try to change your sadness by doing something like shopping uncontrollably or eating too much or hurting the body. You will simply say “I am unable to feel divine’s love in this moment, I must – accept, allow and surrender”. You will see that you moved away from this state of just “being”. You moved into an unnecessary state of wanting to change people or situations according to what seems pleasurable to the mind. Why? You do not need to do that. All you need to do is Allow God to Love You.”
Inner child finally understands but now it wants to know “How?” – “How to accept, allow and surrender?”
“Dear Child, there are two ways to reach divine, one way is to feel – I am nothing, so you see everything as distant happenings from you and you accept, allow and surrender to this feeling of nothingness. This is the path of heretics. But dear child, it is not your path. You will become weak if you follow this path. You my child need to follow the other way to reach Divine – Feel – I am everything. You accept, allow and surrender to everything. Everything is you or is helping you reach divine. This is the path of householder yogis and yoginis. This will benefit you greatly. You will feel strong! Very very strong! You will realise that you have billion hands and legs. How powerful is that feeling? You will feel that you are breathing through all the plants around the world. You are completely wet like the ocean. You are unlimited like the Akash. You are solid like the soil. You are moving so beautifully like the winds on this planet. You are powerful as the fires on this planet. You have billion eyes and ears. You hear everything and See everything without judgement. Because the person who is hurting and who is getting hurt is also you. Because the person who is helping and who is getting helped is also you. Now you are within all beings! Surrender to this feeling , my dear dear child. Reach Divine this way.” Thank your sadness as it helped you go inwards to look for answers and eventually took you to Divine.
As a friend reminded you – “Rather than resisting the world, you should look for ways you can use it as a chance to get home“.
Inner child breathes deeply and surrenders finally to the feeling of welcoming everything as part of herself and that this feeling is her way to Divine. She is ready to touch Divine in her being and TO BE DIVINE.
Thank you to all the people who contributed indirectly for these thoughts and a rise in awareness : Dr. B.N. Jha (My guru) and My Soul Family member Ms. Astha Gupta.
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Anupriya is an Alternative Educator, Holistic Healing Trainer, Trance Medium and now an Author who has mastered many different healing and teaching modalities. She has worked in La Wisdom Alternative Learning Center in Bangalore for 2 years. She has educated children and parents on varied topics like emotional awareness, casteism in india, team work, career choices and addiction awareness etc. She continues to intrigue the minds of young people with her logical and experimental approach. Having gone through her own painful spiritual journey, she also learnt every healing modality that she could get her hands on. She has been training people in – Meditations, Reiki Energy Healing, Emotional Freedom technique, different forms of Acupressure and Reflexology, Ayurvedic Colour Therapy, Sujok, Naturopathy, Bach Flower Remedies, Chakra Healing, Angel Healing and Pendulum Dowsing etc from past 5 years. She has also developed faster healing methods for trauma and abuse victims using various guided meditations, creative visualisations and breathwork. Her faster methods work best with working professionals who have little to no time for themselves and children who have no patience as she teaches very quick tips and tricks to recover from painful circumstances. She also offers longer ‘energy and consciousness’ courses for adults, teenagers and children who wish to awaken a deeper human and spiritual awareness within them.
- BODY LOVES YOU
- ENERGY LOVES YOU
- MIND LOVES YOU
- NATURE LOVES YOU
- SOUL LOVES YOU
Ma’am. I’m in tears as I read this, it’s just so beautiful and your words resonate with my inner child too, Thank you for this beautiful article, deep heartfelt gratitude to you.